Before starting college I was super confident in my faith. I was told by many people how you can easily lose yourself by trying to fit in with everyone. Well to be completely honest I did just that. I wanted to fit in with everyone and have all these friends. Along the way I found myself to be depressed and not my usual self. I was hanging around the wrong crowd and ended up being the not so best version of myself. I even got super jealous of all the girls. I thought they were stunning and how I wasn’t as pretty as them. They had all the guys around them while I had not one. I let it all get to me. Instead of turning to God, I turned to the world. I completely lost myself after I walked so confidently into my first day saying how I never would. After realizing what had become of me, a realization came into my heart and I heard the Lord say “come to me”.
I went to God. I gave Him my burdens, confessed my sins, and flat out told Him what has become of me. I prayed to God that He would walk with me and help me back on my feet. Since discovering losing myself, I wasn’t reading my Bible as much as I did, or enjoyed the Sunday morning sermon as I always loved. My friends and family even noticed how much I changed. Hearing this put a heavy burden on my heart and I could not believe what had become of me.
What I love about God is that He was able to pick me up at the lowest I have ever was. He picked me up, put me on my feet, grabbed onto my hand, and walked with me. When I find myself wanting to go to what I was I heard the Lord say “no, keep walking with me.” I even learned how hard it was to easily lose grasp of Him. On the way I found myself no longer holding on to Him. I found myself at my darkest when I wasn’t clingy onto God.
It is so easy to lose yourself. You can easily lose yourself in trying to “fit in”, but in reality that is not what matters. What matters, is standing out and showing people God’s love. God wants us to show the light He has put in us, to stand out and be an example. I find that by doing this, you can make a chain reaction and touch the hearts of other people. If anything, if you are going to lose yourself, lose yourself in Christ. By this you should carry on the cross and take on the burdens of the world. And by doing that we will truly find a source of joy and serenity every time we give ourselves to God. God promises to give back as He tells us in Mark 9:41 “If anyone gives even a cup of water because you belong to the Messiah, I assure you, that person will be rewarded.” Anything we do or say to show God’s love, He will give back.